Pause

Pause, even if it’s green!

pause | reflect | act

 

Not actual accident or vehicles involved.
To get your attention around what can happen if you don't pause.

It’s Sunday July 10^th, 2016 at around 7:30PM EST, and we're about half-way home. The day was awesome. Amanda, my wife, had planned a family date day. We attended an ice-cream social & grill out with friends, and after that she had the surprise of treating us to the movie, “The Secret Life of Pets”, then dinner out together. Some of my favorite things – time with my girls, friends, burgers, and movies.

 

Sitting at the exit, we are first in line to leave on green. While in my wife’s car, she’s driving and our daughter Lily is behind me. While pulling up to the red light, a gentleman arrives alongside us in his PT Cruiser. We made eye contact, and gave a cordial smile and guy-dude nod hello.

I saw the light had turned green, and after a couple seconds – in a gentle tone I encouraged my wife that it was green and we could go. She has the habit of sitting at the light a few seconds before going, even if it’s green, and loves when I remind her to go. We were set to turn left and go North on Ridge road, and then “BOOM!”, we witnessed the man I had just said hello to get plowed into by a car that was heading south on Ridge Road who ran the red light going around 50 miles per hour.

 

Not our car. Actual picture of vehicle of person who got hit.

 

We had barely taken off from our previous spot when the light was green. The PT Cruiser was slightly taller than the Toyota sedan that hit him. If they were both the same height, it would have been far worse. When the sedan ran into the cruiser, it lifted him up, threw him across the car, the wheel went up into the engine, and shoved his car back into a parked car on the other side of the street due to the force and momentum. The sedan went down the road a few hundred yards, then put on their blinkers. In case they took off, I memorized their plate info. I immediately ran over to the cruiser, and the driver was out of the car with blood all over his face. I asked him his name, looked at his eyes, and spoke with him to assess if I needed to call an ambulance. His adrenaline was rushing, as you could imagine, and I so I asked him various questions to calm him down. Other drivers stopped and got out. One was even a nurse getting off her shift, and checked on all the drivers and passengers.

 

There were injuries, but everyone was very lucky. I gave the driver of the PT Cruiser my cell phone number, and checked on him the next day. He shared how the driver of the sedan claimed she had the ride-of-way. I reminded him there were 4 witnesses who saw her run the red light, and if he needed anything to let me know. I almost felt like he took a hit for us, but neither of us had awareness or the ability to ever know such a thing.

 

I went through various scenarios of how if the angles had been smaller how the man who got hit would have been in severe or fatal condition, if we were hit head on & at that angle we would've been crashed into - how it could have been a fatal story, what would’ve happened to Lily in the back seat if they hit us, what if in was on my motorcycle and this happened, if we left dinner a few seconds earlier or later, and so on. I often wonder if accidents are no accident. The whole situation was amplified more as it wasn't just me in the car, it was with my wife and daughter.

 

On this day, my wife’s “pause” potentially saved our lives, and from the speed of the car that ran the light & angle we would have been struck – in the minimum a trip for us all to the ER. Just don’t encourage her to always not listen to me!

 

PAUSE | REFLECT | ACT

 

All this got me thinking about the lesson. Pause, even if it’s green. I thought of the metaphor this gives us for life. Often we trend towards the path of least resistance, and take what’s put in front of us. Or I witness the opposite approach where force is used to make something happen instead of exercising patience. I see successful leaders who assess all angles, considerations, and implications - even if everything appears to be a win.

 

Whether you’re at a red light, green light, or it’s yellow – take a moment and reflect, scope out the vantage point in front of you, and take notice of the terrain at a distance out from you. Consider if it’s safe & with adventure, if there’s a calculated risk to take, or if you need to embark upon an alternative route. Sometimes we are guided towards rough paths, and our stumbles build us with purpose in ways we could never imagine. We find strength from adversity, and the "safe" path wouldn't have prepared us for the transformation God had in store for us. Of course, the words "safe" and "adventure" can be conflicting. Related to driving a car and life, you get the point.

We were thankful for God’s protection and grace that day, let alone every day. Through this and other experiences, I understand where we may feel pain and suffering is the plan – but really, God is the ultimate escape artist by allowing you to be on the real tracks you should’ve been on all along. It reminded me to pay attention in a world where people are always in a hurry, or when I am at a red light on my motorcycle it’s amplified by the number of people I see people texting or on social media on their mobile devices. I appreciate one of the credo's from the Marines, "Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast". This depicts perfectly how we can be steadfast with willpower, but in a smart way to drive momentum & growth.

Pause and pay attention – even if it’s green & looks good to go. What a metaphor for life in so many realms from home, work, responding to your spouse, disciplining kids, and other areas where reflective discernment is key. Pause, ask yourself, "Am I making a good decision here?" and "Will my actions build my reputation or destroy it?".

Not promoting for you to live in fear, be a pessimist, challenge everything for pride's sake. Don't do that. That's poisonous. There are times in your life where you will need to implement immediate action during an emergency or another moment when the time calls. My encouragement is to utilize a moment to be still, and assess your posture & position - even if it all appears good. You never know when someone or something may barrel through a red light and t-bone your plans at the intersection of needs, wants, and where you truly belong.

 

With perspective,

- B