I have an idea to improve our broken domestic relations (DR) court system that discriminates against healthy father's who are fighting to be fairly involved dad's. It's called "Lily's Law".
I have requested the assistance from Children's Law Center, Inc., but their resources are scarce and unavailable. Does anyone have a similar group or attorney willing to advice/assist in this matter?
It's simple. If a party (wife or husband) files for divorce, the first option or approach is to provide shared time (other States would define this as "shared custody", but Ohio does not have this, they call it 'shared parenting', but that term does not give full light to what that means), it's essentially bogus if both parties aren't amicable, and the court is forced to get involved and make a decision, often than not - giving full residential custody to a mom, where the father is then forced to provide child support through the State's algorithm/formula based upon the number of children and incomes of both parties.
The father usually is limited to a few hours a week and every other weekend, while paying a 2nd mortgage of child support. This option happens more frequently, whereas the more abundant number of times that should occur where a dad is equally involved - without having to spend tens of thousands of dollars on attorney, court, social worker, psychologist, child support, and other fees. You essentially become, a "Fighting Father", or you are forced to shut your mouth, take the scraps a vindictive party 'gives' you, and you toil and beg to be involved fairly. It is proven statistically that when a father is involved appropriately, a child is more likely to succeed through the areas of emotional stability, behavior, socially, psychologically, school work (grades), in relationships, and more. It's becoming a rampant problem, the "absent father syndrome", where dads are essentially enduring 'interference' where they're alienated (google "parental alienation syndrome', it's not proven to be a true 'syndrome', but then again - it is!). It's becoming a "Generational Youth of Absentee Fathers", and the cycle needs to eliminated. Some fathers should be absent, but I am speaking around the dad's who care and should be involved, and are great dads.
I am a small % of dad's. I earned and was granted full custody of our 3 year old daughter due to the overwhelming evidence and situations my ex made me endure. It was uncalled for and unnecessary. Now, after 38 court appearances, 3 attorneys, a social worker, a psychologist, and $50k, I am 'allowed' the right to equal involvement with our daughter, all while implementing a fair plan despite my ex's actions/behavior, and removing the barriers and struggles she caused. Not only that, but your personal property, child(rens) whereabouts can be concealed (for months until the court makes them reveal it), and more.
You cannot give up or in to the distractions of your ex, their vindictiveness, must pray, build a positive community around you, fight all you can the right way, gather evidence and witnesses, and more. I have a separate infographic I can send you if interested on how to address these challenges. It's not easy. It's a battle mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically. Never give up. It's for your kid. I know too many others who are victims of the same situation. Never give up.
Portion of the draft goes as follows >>
Lily’s Law
• When a divorce is filed, immediate division of parental time and awareness of location is to be given by both parties.
• When divorce is filed, any items removed within two weeks prior and after are not to be removed, and divided as the court and parties mutually agreed upon.
• Immediate mutually shared parenting and knowledge of whereabouts of child(ren) and visitation by both parties involved is to be distributed equally unless a protection, abuse, or related order is subject to adjust this visitation equality.
• No damage to the home or place of residence is to occur. Reasonable assessment of retaliation and or destruction to property that is shown to be in a time frame when divorce if filed or items being taken will be considered burglary. Personal items that are taken are to be immediately returned, and all children’s items are to be equally distributed to participating parties.
• If a child is taken by one parent and is not giving proper notice of where that child is, who is taking care of that child, or allowing visitation, the perpetrator of this will be held liable for the crime of parental kidnapping, neglect, and risking the health, safety, and protection of said child.
This is a proposed addendum to the Domestic Relations Laws relating to the Filing of Divorce. This is to protect the children first, then also the home, financials, and property of both parties respectfully.
All too often, a parent who files divorce cleans out a bank account, takes property, cleans out the home, takes a child(ren), and disappears – leaving a lengthy court battle, and situation that takes months with attorneys, the legal process and system, social workers, judges, court dates, and noisy situations. The system is set up to separate kids from parents. Especially for dad’s who care and want to be involved. There needs to be items addressed in the court and system that allow for putting the children first and allowing for a healthy interaction in a broken system that keeps children one parent.
There needs to be a law, Lily’s Law, that allows both parents access to children at the filing of divorce. Also, visitations, disclosure of information, protection of property, and immediate assessment of the health of both parents should occur. Many times the mother can take money, goods, property, destroy property, and take children – only to leave the father to deal with removing false protection orders and the like for months before he can see their child(ren).
Something needs to eliminate these issues from an already difficult process. Lily’s Law does this. Something needs to protect children from being withheld from their parents. Lily’s Law does this. How do I know? Because my daughter, Lily, was taken from me and I was kept from seeing her for months. I had to battle the system to obtain custody, and then fight a lengthy court battle to secure visitation and custody.
I have requested the assistance from Children's Law Center, Inc., but their resources are scarce and unavailable. Does anyone have a similar group or attorney willing to advice/assist in this matter?
It's simple. If a party (wife or husband) files for divorce, the first option or approach is to provide shared time (other States would define this as "shared custody", but Ohio does not have this, they call it 'shared parenting', but that term does not give full light to what that means), it's essentially bogus if both parties aren't amicable, and the court is forced to get involved and make a decision, often than not - giving full residential custody to a mom, where the father is then forced to provide child support through the State's algorithm/formula based upon the number of children and incomes of both parties.
The father usually is limited to a few hours a week and every other weekend, while paying a 2nd mortgage of child support. This option happens more frequently, whereas the more abundant number of times that should occur where a dad is equally involved - without having to spend tens of thousands of dollars on attorney, court, social worker, psychologist, child support, and other fees. You essentially become, a "Fighting Father", or you are forced to shut your mouth, take the scraps a vindictive party 'gives' you, and you toil and beg to be involved fairly. It is proven statistically that when a father is involved appropriately, a child is more likely to succeed through the areas of emotional stability, behavior, socially, psychologically, school work (grades), in relationships, and more. It's becoming a rampant problem, the "absent father syndrome", where dads are essentially enduring 'interference' where they're alienated (google "parental alienation syndrome', it's not proven to be a true 'syndrome', but then again - it is!). It's becoming a "Generational Youth of Absentee Fathers", and the cycle needs to eliminated. Some fathers should be absent, but I am speaking around the dad's who care and should be involved, and are great dads.
I am a small % of dad's. I earned and was granted full custody of our 3 year old daughter due to the overwhelming evidence and situations my ex made me endure. It was uncalled for and unnecessary. Now, after 38 court appearances, 3 attorneys, a social worker, a psychologist, and $50k, I am 'allowed' the right to equal involvement with our daughter, all while implementing a fair plan despite my ex's actions/behavior, and removing the barriers and struggles she caused. Not only that, but your personal property, child(rens) whereabouts can be concealed (for months until the court makes them reveal it), and more.
You cannot give up or in to the distractions of your ex, their vindictiveness, must pray, build a positive community around you, fight all you can the right way, gather evidence and witnesses, and more. I have a separate infographic I can send you if interested on how to address these challenges. It's not easy. It's a battle mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically. Never give up. It's for your kid. I know too many others who are victims of the same situation. Never give up.
Portion of the draft goes as follows >>
Lily’s Law
• When a divorce is filed, immediate division of parental time and awareness of location is to be given by both parties.
• When divorce is filed, any items removed within two weeks prior and after are not to be removed, and divided as the court and parties mutually agreed upon.
• Immediate mutually shared parenting and knowledge of whereabouts of child(ren) and visitation by both parties involved is to be distributed equally unless a protection, abuse, or related order is subject to adjust this visitation equality.
• No damage to the home or place of residence is to occur. Reasonable assessment of retaliation and or destruction to property that is shown to be in a time frame when divorce if filed or items being taken will be considered burglary. Personal items that are taken are to be immediately returned, and all children’s items are to be equally distributed to participating parties.
• If a child is taken by one parent and is not giving proper notice of where that child is, who is taking care of that child, or allowing visitation, the perpetrator of this will be held liable for the crime of parental kidnapping, neglect, and risking the health, safety, and protection of said child.
This is a proposed addendum to the Domestic Relations Laws relating to the Filing of Divorce. This is to protect the children first, then also the home, financials, and property of both parties respectfully.
All too often, a parent who files divorce cleans out a bank account, takes property, cleans out the home, takes a child(ren), and disappears – leaving a lengthy court battle, and situation that takes months with attorneys, the legal process and system, social workers, judges, court dates, and noisy situations. The system is set up to separate kids from parents. Especially for dad’s who care and want to be involved. There needs to be items addressed in the court and system that allow for putting the children first and allowing for a healthy interaction in a broken system that keeps children one parent.
There needs to be a law, Lily’s Law, that allows both parents access to children at the filing of divorce. Also, visitations, disclosure of information, protection of property, and immediate assessment of the health of both parents should occur. Many times the mother can take money, goods, property, destroy property, and take children – only to leave the father to deal with removing false protection orders and the like for months before he can see their child(ren).
Something needs to eliminate these issues from an already difficult process. Lily’s Law does this. Something needs to protect children from being withheld from their parents. Lily’s Law does this. How do I know? Because my daughter, Lily, was taken from me and I was kept from seeing her for months. I had to battle the system to obtain custody, and then fight a lengthy court battle to secure visitation and custody.
Email sent to The Children's Law Firm (Northern Kentucky)
ReplyDeleteAugust 21st, 2014 (emailed a year earlier as well)
To: info@childrenslawky.org
I am interested in partnering with you to improve the current laws upon what happens to a child when a divorce is filed for mother's and father's who love their children, are competent, and there should be immediate splitting of time vs. a long battle where things are improperly managed, and issues that shouldn't happen occur.
I am a fighting father, someone who has full custody of our 3 year old daughter, and would like to provide something called, "Lily's Law", where it is an addendum to the current way the system assesses and establishes custody, time, and the like.
Please hear me, I'd love to listen to what you recommend. I also feel there are millions of children and hundreds of thousands of father's who are fighting to be dad's, who are victimized by vindictive mother's, trying to simply love and be a proper part of a child's life.
We have seen in the news and other situations where father's and others react to injustice and the currently broken system in negative manners. Also, it is statistically shown that when a father is more present, a child's confidence, grades, decision making, health, and more are greatly improved.
Not every divorce is a challenge, and some folks are amicable. But, when it is not, it is very similar to how racism happens in court, often a 'guilty til innocent' stat, to where this is a chance for us to transform lives through improving the current divorce filing, proceedings, and as they relate to custody.
I plead you meet with me, speak around this topic, and help each other conquer obstacles so that children in the tri-state and beyond can have a better life, dad's can have a more fair/reasonable/appropriate involvement, and it becomes more about time and parenting purposes vs. people using the system for child support, being malicious, and the like.
I feel that with Lily's Law, we can propose an addendum that allows for children and parents to have rightful access and authority vs. years of battle, attorney fees, and the like that are not necessary. In some cases a parent should not be involved equally, such as with drugs, alcohol, and other unfortunate situations. We need to continue to guard and protect children, but in cases where both parents are healthy, competent, and love their kids properly - they should not have interference or alienation. I see this happen all the time where the mother gets automatic custody, the dad pays child support, and unless he wants to invest 50,000 dollars plus and years in court, he will be limited to hours a week with their kid(s). This is injustice. It's our duty to call it out, and take action, together.
With hope,
Brian Siegel
"We're as great as we help others become."